Finally the Pe_is is gone

Disclaimer: this is a long post. I think it's funny enough to read, but if you aren't familiar with twitter it might not be AS funny...just a heads up.

Finally the Pe_is is gone.

Hang man and if you guess an “N” you win.

No, not Matt. Yes, he’s gone and yes he has one, but no, he is NOT one. I’ve never even called him one. Not even in our worst of fights (we don't have many these days). Not that that would give him being one any validity. Point is – he’s nowhere near what my idea of someone described as a “penis” is.

One of the followers on my twitter account has a picture of male genitalia as his profile picture. I don’t like looking at it. If you have twitter, don’t look – or do actually, but I already got rid of them, hence the name of this post.

Skip to “JUMP HERE” section to save time.

Want to hear my bout with technology this time? I tell you, I really was born in the wrong in the generation. Again, so thankful for the IT super techy husband that I have. I teasingly tweeted that he is my virtual assistant and does my work for me while I sleep. It’s actually fairly true. I’m sleeping and he fixes my complaints in his free-time remotely. Yeah, while he’s DEPLOYED IN AFGHANISTAN. While he’s saving lives and being the honorable soldier that he is, he’s ALSO taking care of his wifey back at home who seems to find herself in all kinds of IT trouble on a fairly consistent basis.

What this time? The dang penis, that’s what. I’m sick of the word. If you would have asked my parents when I was in kindergarten if I would ever blog (assume they had a way to know what that was back then) about the word penis they would have died laughing. I was the mute child. In fact my kindergarten teacher (Mrs. Kelly, still probably one of my all-time favorites) even asked my parents at conferences if I ever talked at home. Yeah, there’s a Craig factor (if you haven’t met my dad – you need to keep an exaggeration factor x 10 in mind), but my mom can back him up. Her word’s pretty darn good.

Being on twitter is like letting people in on your inner monologue. Some people just don’t have one. It’s fun when you think other people might actually be interested in yours. I used to think that nobody would want to hear mine. Now I’m starting to wonder. There’s a lot of stupid stuff that goes on up there – makes me wonder if other people go through these trains of thought or if I’m the only one. Maybe if I’m transparent enough someone will think it sounds familiar and think what I have to say is slightly funny because it's true. That's usually when I laugh at stuff. Or maybe I’m a complete nutball. Either way…

JUMP HERE IF YOU WANT TO CUT TO THE ACTUAL FUNNY PART: (leave a comment if you appreciate me trying to save our blog readers time)

A few lines from the e-mails between matt and me. They give you an idea of how I just don’t “get” stuff right away when it comes to technology. Give me a pattern, a formula, a set of instructions of exactly how to do something, and I’m golden. If there’s room to mess up on a computer, I’ll find it.

Me:FB [facebook]-- i swear i did everything i was supposed to link them [my tweets to FB] but still no tweets as far as i can tell... tried twice to link tweets to our blog.

1st time ... linked it no problem. the format was so ugly it looked like my tweets puked off the page. Had [it] to go...

2nd time i got craftier. then gave up and tweeted about it. originally i copied the code from your widget and replaced … it created a second widget but all my tweets were up in your updates still so it looked like my tweets where coming from you and that i had no tweets. i'm sure you don't want to be associated w/ my lack of IT expertise tweets so i'd advise on some advice to the wifey... :) realized this finally and took the widget down altogether because it just seemed weird.

Matt: Dude, you seriously crack me up. I was busting out laughing as I read your email. Here's my attempt at addressing some of the issues...

Me: well, apparently i don't know how to DM [direct message on twitter so that only a chosen recipient gets the message]. tried with a very bold statement (dumb) and it ended up on FB and our blog. deleted it. but it's on FB... awesome.

actually kind of funny. and i'm not TOO embarrassed but wouldn't mind getting it off FB. even if other people do see it. i mean. i'm not ashamed of my statement though. and the fact that it shows up as "DM" looks like i did it on accident. which i did. which is also funny. i need to blog all my twitter adventures...

Me again: at least we fixed the tweets getting to facebook. may have proved to be a bad idea...
love you!...

Me again: oh, so i deleted it[tweet from FB & our blog]. not sure if you can trace it somehow. i'm guessing someone had to see it. went something like this:

"DM@mattslyk really don't want to limit (allow) people to follow me but i don't want giant penis people following me like they are now. solution?"

ME again: yes, that was on our blog and FB. thing is. i totally have to blog this eventually... because it is so polite but bold. i don't want penis' (not sure how to pluralize that word) following me, as in … people OR images of them... PLUS, i went to try to figure out how to delete them / have them un-follow me. instead, i just looked at their profile which showed me a bigger penis. not only that but now my most recently viewed page also shows me a picture of their profile picture. of a penis...

dang this technology thing…

Me again: well. got rid of the penis. kind of. i figured out how to block the image. not sure if it blocks it for others who look at my followers -- i'm guessing it doesn't. i blocked some girls' image that i don't know as a test first. had to look at that stupid penis again to click on it to get rid of it. i guess it applied some sort of filter for me. thankful to be rid of it ... i still would like to know how to block followers.

Well, now you have my inner monologue. Not sure if you wanted it. Most of my e-mails to Matt end up resembling my inner monologue. I guess that’s how we communicate when he’s gone for a year… he’s not lacking my thoughts these days :)

Please comment if you know how to block followers on twitter without requiring me to “allow” people to follow me. Matt suggested I google it, but I got sick of technology for the time being…

Oh and still to come: highlights of our time with Matt during his R&R :)